i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
