Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
