It's Friday. Sex?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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