Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
