I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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