i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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