Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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