can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
