Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
