between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
