im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
