I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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