You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
