One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize