Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
