You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
