She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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