i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
