Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
