Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
