Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
True strength comes from lack of pants
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
