Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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