How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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