Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
