Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
