look no pants
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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