i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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