no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
