So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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