I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
