i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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