How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I only lived at night.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
