she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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