we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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