And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize