Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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