You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
