I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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