the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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