omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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