So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
