"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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