Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
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I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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