Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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