it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
