And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
