hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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