and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Also, beer. Big fan.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i out mim tonsoeep
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