I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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