thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
