so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
