she woke up with a sticky ear
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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