I wish I could teleport
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
