i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
