Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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