Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
