And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
