that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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