If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
