Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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