a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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