Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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